Monday, December 6, 2010


Have no fear
When the aliens come
And enslave the earth
They will soon fall
For our ponzi schemes
And organized religions
Double-glazed doughnuts
And chicken sandwiches
Poor and depressed
We will drive them back
To the stars

Have no fear
Of robot overlords
Who barcode our hands
They will soon fall
To our computer viruses
And cyber sex dreams
Three laws of robotics
And hentai porn jpegs
Broken and shorted out
We will beat them back
To dull tools

Have no fear
Of Cthonian horrors
Their deathless lives
They will soon flee
From our logical fallacies
And door to door salesmen
Tax accountants
And automated phone systems
Lonely and deranged
We will repel them back
To mindless chaos


  1. Dearest Ted,
    I must inform you that you should have a warning sign on your poetry. Due to this being very funny I ruined a perfectly good keyboard by spraying it with my morning coffee.

    thank you.

    ps. Best one YET!!!

  2. I just added buttons no one uses.
    I am not adding warnings no one will heed.

  3. Yet again the internet robs a quip of any humor...