My Maniac Friends

The night I first met you

I was naked, painted blue

Tried to do my part, see

At the medieval club party

With the anachronistic hipsters

Then you came in your flippers

Lugged old wetsuit and scuba tank

Flapping across the floorplanks

Blinded in your foggy facemask

I just had to laugh and ask

Who was that maniac

I just had to make you my friend

You were always there from before

Lived in the house next door

Chased women in bars together

Then crashed in my bed together

Spiked our hair with Colgate

Showed up fashionably late

The girls you always dated

Were ones I always hated

Nothing I couldn’t tell you

We always ran pell mell through

You were the type of maniac

I just had to make my friend

Don’t remember when we first met

Happy and surprised we’re friends yet

With your eternal black clothing

Dry humor and world loathing

Next to my pink clothes and smile

Trading quips all the while

My first adult trip was with you

Canada and the States we drove through

I was happy with my beer and wine

Your smokes and shit made you fine

You and me are different types of maniacs

And I am so glad you’re my friend